


The Pitfalls Of Social Media

by GenerallyHuxurious (GallifreyanOmnishambles)



Series: Kylux Cryptids AU [21]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anniversary, Bickering, Cell Phones, Chronic Pain, Coffee, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Flirting, Fluff, Injury Recovery, Kylo Still Has The Force, M/M, Memories, Paranormal Investigators, Physical Disability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Road Trips, Romance, Romantic Gestures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:01:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9373319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanOmnishambles/pseuds/GenerallyHuxurious
Summary: "There was a photograph. It showed Hux and five other men in army parachute gear leaning into the frame. They were all grinning. The caption read "1 Year Ago- Once More Unto The Breach, Dear Friends". There were other photographs, from the same day on other years. One looked like a garden party. Several seemed to be from a wedding. Scrolling through Kylo couldn't see any that were especially upsetting."Hux has a bad day. Kylo does his best to make it better.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Talcen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talcen/gifts).



> I don't know when I wrote this, it might have been for a prompt. I found it in a bunch of recovered data and thought you might enjoy it.

Pineapple. Blueberries. Cherries. Root ginger. Yoghurt. Coconut milk. Protein powder.

_Everything he needed for a healthy breakfast smoothie._   _Now if only he could get the damn top on the machine._ Hux thought peevishly.

His hands shook. Missed. Dropped it.

Leaning casually away from his horrifying heap of eggs, hash browns, and bacon Kylo caught the glass lid with a wave of his hand just before it hit the tile.

Hux sighed in frustration and dropped his head onto the countertop. He didn't move even when Kylo dropped the lid onto his hair like a hat.

"What's wrong? You've been off all morning."

"Nothing." The reply was muffled as Donal wrapped his arms around his head.

"Doesn't look like nothing from here, man. Looks like something to me."

"Fuck off."

"Nope."

One hand raised a finger in Kylo's direction. In retaliation he licked it.

"You're a disgusting beast." Hux groaned as he retrieved the blender lid from his hair and turned back to his breakfast. He still couldn't get the lid in place.

"Jesus Hux, have you forgotten your pain meds today? You're shaking like you need a fix."

"No!" Hux snapped, then sighed when Kylo gently removed the lid from his fingers and applied it to the machine. "No, sorry. It's just this stupid fucking app."

"An app? An app that gives you the shakes? I didn't think Apple were releasing the mind control stuff until next year."

Turning on the blender Hux pushed his phone across the counter. He pointed to an app with a yellow logo featuring some kind of green dragon/dinosaur creature in goggles. Chewing thoughtfully on his bacon Kylo thumbed it open.

There was a photograph. It showed Hux and five other men in army parachute gear leaning into the frame. They were all grinning. The caption read "1 Year Ago- Once More Unto The Breach, Dear Friends". There were other photographs, from the same day on other years. One looked like a garden party. Several seemed to be from a wedding. Scrolling through Kylo couldn't see any that were especially upsetting.

The blender ceased its whirring noise. Kylo watched Hux grab a straw and wander out onto the balcony to drink the whole thing directly from the blender cup. That was out of character in itself- Hux was always finicky about his meals. Staring straight ahead Hux pulled Kylo's cigarettes out of his pajama pocket, settled against the railing and lit one. Very not good. Hux didn't smoke.

Looking back at the photos Kylo tried to work out the significance of the images. Did one of these pictures contain an ex? Or someone who'd died?

His own phone buzzed.

**HeyHeyReyRey:** heya big cuz u doin ok?

**Kylieoheeoheeoh:** fine y?!

**HeyHeyReyRey:** a year 2day I stabbed u in the face thats y

**Kylieoheeoheeoh:** s'ok

That had been a year ago?! Already?!

Kylo dragged open the calendar app. Shit, Rey was right. So if she'd stabbed him in the face one year ago today, then the first photograph was probably from Hux' last ever mission as a paratrooper. Because Kylo had been in that hospital room for four days and Hux had been unconscious in the bed next to him for three. 

Shit.

Shovelling the last of his breakfast into his mouth Kylo strode out onto the balcony and wrapped himself around Hux' back.

"I'm sorry, baby," he murmured into wild red hair and designer stubble that was growing just a touch too long.

"Not your fault. You didn't blow my legs off."

"Hux, you still hav..."

" **I KNOW.** " Hux snapped, stubbing his cigarette out with unnecessary force and flicking it towards the street. "I know. But I DID lose them. The nerves remember. Human brains aren't supposed to remember pain but I do. And some days it's like I'm in hell. I... I just didn't need to remember all that today."

Kylo was silent for a minute, gently rubbing his hand in circles over Hux' heart and absolutely not mentioning the tears soaking into the man's beard. Finally Hux brought one hand up to cover Kylo's own.

"I know what?" Kylo said quietly, "today can get fucked. It's cancelled. We've got a week until the next big blog post is due, I say we go back to bed and stay there until it's tomorrow."

* * *

Careful not to wake the man snoring against his hip Kylo levitated the iPad into his hands.

Technically it was their first anniversary in four days and he didn't have a single idea. He's decided to set their anniversary as the day they'd first met since it was easier to explain than "I fell in love with him after we chased a werewolf and he gave me the best head I'd ever had in my life." Besides  _ that _ had only been a couple of days later anyway. And they had an article and a video due then. It'd be more convenient to do something on the day they first met. If he could just think of something.

* * *

"Ren, why are there packed suitcases on the bed?" Donal shouted over the noise of the shower.

"Have you ever seen Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow?"

"What the fuck are you on about now?"

"Sleepy Hollow? Christopher Walken as the headless horseman?"

Scrubbing at his face in frustration Hux slumped against the sink and said wearily, "I know you use an ungodly amount of product in your hair Kylo but you're not supposed to get it in your ears! I said 'why are there packed suitcases on the bed?'"

"Yes! And I asked if you'd seen Sleepy Hollow! The answer kinda depends on whether you've seen it... and if you haven't we should probably watch it before we go..."

"Yes, I've seen it! Everyone’s seen it! Now, please," Hux sighed, "where are we going?"

"Haunted guest house."

"What? Why?!"

"Uh because that's what we do? Unless you have anything else planned for today?" Kylo asked hopefully. He hadn't actually  _ told _ Hux that he'd set their anniversary for today, but he couldn't help but hope that Hux might have reached that same conclusion by himself.

"No, no I don't have anything planned. Fine.” Hux shrugged. “Where are we going? What's the background? What are we investigating?"

Turning off the shower Kylo paused to shake himself, water droplets thumping against the glass.

"How you never realised that your Uncle Chewie was werewolf after he taught you disgusting habits like that I will never understand." Hux said drily.

"Fuck off." Kylo replied, stepping out of the shower and hip checking Hux gently away from the sink. "Just for that I'm not telling you jack shit about where we're going, you'll just have to go in research free with a totally blank notebook."

"Oh fuck you, don't do this to me!" Hux groaned in only semi-mock distress. "You know I hate that!"

"Yup. Now go pack the car, I'll be down in five when I've done my hair."

Forty five minutes- and three chapters of Children of Dune read whilst waiting in the car- later, and they were finally on the road.

* * *

 

Hux was asleep. He always slept during daytime car journeys, apparently out of self defence against seeing any of Kylo's driving techniques. Kylo didn't mind, it meant he got control of the radio and he was free to choose the route.

One of the main reasons he'd refused to tell Hux anything about their destination was the fact that he'd been driving in entirely the wrong direction. He'd had a craving for this particular small company brand of coffee for the last fourteen months and if he was going anywhere near New York then he was damn well going to upstate New York too. Even if it was two hours out of their way.

It was damn fine coffee. He ordered in the bagged beans once a month but home brewed had nothing on the real thing. There was a sorceress working there. That wasn’t a metaphor, she was an actual sorceress. It really came through in the flavour. Besides, Kylo felt it was important to always support supernatural owned and run businesses wherever possible. You never knew when you might need some backup.

Rolling into the parking lot of the quaint little shop it was all Kylo could do not to stick his head out of the car window to better enjoy the smell of freshly roasted coffee. It smelled magical. It probably was...

The car locks thunked into place a little more loudly than Kylo would have liked, but Hux just rolled slightly in his seat and went right on snoring. Good.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the prodigal son returning to the..." The owner called from behind the counter. Her face blanched and her words faltered when he turned to face her properly. "... Oh, oh Kylo honey, your face..."

That still hurt.

Blushing crimson from shame and annoyance Kylo looked at the floor, compulsively brushing his hair forward to cover the scar that was no doubt shining white now against his hot skin.

Suddenly warm soft arms wrapped around his middle. The owner was a full foot shorter than Kylo- all he could see now was her dark hair shot through we grey.

"I'm sorry darling, I didn't mean to say it like that, you just took me by surprise is all! It's been so long since we last saw you!"

Awkwardly he patted her on the shoulder. "Yeah I've been kinda busy."

"Too busy to come all the way up here just for coffee?"

"Yeah... We can't stay either, sorry."

"We?" She looked surprised, sad eyes tripping over his scar like she wasn't expecting him to have anyone now.

Kylo should have told her, should have written to the friends who didn't have facebook at least - _ 'hi guys, just FYI my face is fucked up and I'm living with a hot British control freak.' _ Something like that, short and to the point.

He pointed through the windows towards the Fury and its slumbering passenger. Hux actually looked quite sweet when he was sleeping.

"I'm taking Hux... Donal... to a haunted guesthouse in the Hudson Valley for our first anniversary," he said, smiling when her face split into a huge grin. He gestured towards his face. "I know this looks bad, but I'm mostly ok now and if I hadn't been in that hospital bed then I wouldn't have been the first thing he saw when he woke up."

"You know the Hudson Valley is nowhere near here, right?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "You drove all this way, on your anniversary, just for coffee?"

"No, just so I could buy him the best cup of coffee in the country, on our anniversary. I'm being romantic."

* * *

"Wake up! Hey, General Deepthroat! Major Sux! Private Parts! Wake the fuck up! Jesus Christ ...DONAL!"

Slowly Hux opened one baleful eye. "What?"

"I got you a coffee."

"Please tell me you're joking." Hux said flatly, closing his eye again and shifting in his seat as if preparing to go back to sleep.

"It's a four shot skinny latte with sugar free caramel and pumpkin spice syrups." Kylo said temptingly. The eye reopened. "And a salted caramel muffin." Both eyes opened. "And an oatmeal cookie."

Hux snatched the coffee from his hand so quickly it was only Kylo’s ‘talent' that kept it off the car seats.

"Holy fuck this is amazing." Hux moaned a moment later holding the cup in front of him like a votive offering.

"I thought it was worth the diversion," Kylo said with a grin then blushing slightly as he continued, "happy anniversary honey."

"Damn right it's worth it... Wait what?"

Poking the sat nav one last time Kylo edged the car back out into the flow of traffic.

"Precisely one year ago today, to the minute- you woke up; bitched about my taste in music like the old man that you are; called me a beautiful prick; and then totally failed to help me defend us both from a werewolf."

"One- your taste in music is appalling. Two- you both possess and in fact  **are** the most beautiful prick I've ever had the privilege to get my hands on. And three- I helped you. Eventually. No one got eaten at least." Hux sighed. "Seriously though, I'm sorry I didn't realise that was today. Is that why we're going to this guest house?"

"Yeah, it seemed like a couple-y thing to do, but you know, more us."

"Ok well, I'll buy us dinner and then maybe it's time for the grand return of the General?"

They both grinned and turned to watch the road. It was weird, what they had, but it was theirs.

* * *

The next morning they were unceremoniously evicted from the guest house after they ruined the haunting. Hux had patiently explained to the long suffering ghosts of repressed rebel soldiers that same-sex marriage had been legal in that state for three years. Which led to Kylo- as an ordained minister of a religion he resolutely refused to discuss in public- spending over an hour performing posthumous wedding ceremonies.

The guest house was never the same after that. Who wants to haunt a house and terrify passing tourists when they could snuggle with their spouses instead?

If only the owner had taken Donal's advice and opened a wedding emporium to take advantage of all that positive energy. There's no helping some people.


End file.
